Besides the usual routines there were no other appointments, poking or testing for Anna yesterday. It was her birthday and she wanted to enjoy it. I needed to add a little bit of ritual to the day so with my gift of offering to clean and decorate her patio I also offered a small box of ladybugs to release into the garden. We did so with a wish for them to "fly away home..." We sent them to live life free of capture in a garden of delight.
The birthday cake of choice for my daughters is my mother's recipe for lemon ice cream pie. It is a graham cracker cookie crust with vanilla ice cream blended into a can of lemonade concentrate. It is tasty and yummy. So breakfast included a hefty slice. Whoa Nelly......... it slowed Anna down a bit. Her belly can not take the volumes of food it once did. Finally when the tummy settled we were off on a birthday adventure to Stanford Shopping Center!!! wooo hooo!
After a very short time Anna asked, "why did I want to do this today? It tires me out. It always would tire me out to go shopping." Serious O2 needs add a level of effort and resulting fatigue that is not really compatible with shopping, but we made the important rounds anyway. J Crew, Tiffanys, The Gap, and Nieman Marcus. I remember when at Lucille Packard Childrens Hospital they had a saying, "when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping....."
Anna had never been inside NM so we took "Grammy" with us. My mom, if she was alive and with us, would have loved taking Anna to Nieman Marcus. She would have oogled the goods right along with her saying, "do you see something you want for your birthday? I want to get you something." So since it was Mom doing the "talking" and the "buying" we gave ourselves permission to set foot in NM. Anna and "Grammy" found a sale on a sale item making a perfect gift of a stylish cashmire blend sweater topper for a dress. It was darling and just what Grammy would have loved to buy and a real deal. Such fun to have success especially on your birthday and in honor of someone you loved and who loved you so much.
Dinner was at Yakkos for sushi. Anna should not eat raw fish at least for a while after transplant. In fact she should be extremely careful about sushi with her immuno suppressed system so it is a food of choice prior to transplant. Temptation roll, Nigiris, Sashimi, Dragon roll, Rainbow roll, seaweed salad, mmmmmmmmmm. Anna announced, "I am celebrating my last birthday with CF lungs!" and earlier in the day she announced, "I am having my last birthday with treatments!" Those words stop you. You have to recalibrate to realize what they mean, take a deep breath and continue on celebrating.
So, Anna is now 29. She said that means my blog is updated since I say I am the mother of a 29 year old. So now I am telling the truth. I look at her at 29 and a woosh in my mind sends me back through the history of time. It is in the moment that we have each other. It is in the moment that we touch and express love. We have had 29 years of so many moments. Happy Birthday Anna and may there be so many more.
I want to send this wish to all of my other CF mom friends, may there be so many more moments with your dears. As Anna was celebrating, another CF friend was in surgery for a nonCF related issue but one that does affect quality of life and his CF. I received an email asking for prayers that the surgery would go well. It did. He is doing fine. We must wrap a blanket of friendship around each other in these times. In this world of CF we feel the threat to our child's life all of the time. And that CF friend remembered to send facebook Happy Birthday wishes to Anna before he went into surgery. A caring and selfless act. They are so brave and they need each other so much. A community that understands and cares helps. It really does.
(Notice the cute toes, a pedicure birthday gift from Sara!)
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