Another Birthday

Both of my children were born in July. This has always been a big birthday month for our family. Doug's dad, my mom, Doug's grandfather, and our girls. Yesterday, on July 22 our Sara turned 22. That taste of Yakko sushi was still causing salivation in Sara's taste buds so we returned for round two last night. Another celebration together. These birthdays are so particularly special this year.

Our children are our jewels, our flowers we watch open and reveal themselves. What great fortune to be a mom and have two wonderful daughters with great inner strength, a sense of humor, a deep compassion and inquisitive minds. Mind you they also have curly hair, their most special trait. I wonder where they got that? Again, it was my mother's fault. We wear our curls proudly.

It has been tricky to mother two in the midst of CF. Other moms dealing with raising a chronically ill or disabled child knows how tricky this is. In my case the fact that they are 7 years apart was an advantage. The first 7 years of Anna's life was filled with adjustments about how to live with CF in the family. That included hospitalizations, doing treatments 2 to 4 times per day while watching Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, and Care Bears; trying to get a 2 year old to take their many pills, eat, and generally cooperate with the program; and begin elementary school where the nasty viruses hang out waiting to descend upon CF lungs. Those years had their moments, but by the time Sara was born I was in the flow and we had figured out how to do it.

Anna was about to start the second grade when Sara was born. While she was at school I had alone time with Sara. I think this was important. Anna was a whirlwind, not only because of the disease and its constant demands but also because of her personality that loved being the center of attention. I could tell that Sara was to be different in her personality. I knew from early on that Sara had a deep soul and that one day in spite of the age gap between the two of them Sara would be the greatest sister that Anna could ever hope for. And, I believe that has been proven to be true.

I always wanted Sara to feel that she is as special as her sister who demanded so much attention and concern. For parents in our situation this took extra care and consciousness but I also sense that the being that Sara is came into this situation with a task at hand. She has grown and developed who she is within the context of this powerful aspect of our family life. Watching CF and being a part of it has caused wounds due to the chronic grief, but it has also sharpened her strengths and ambitions.

Sara is very happy at this time in her life. She has her Lou who is so wonderful to her. She has the time to help care for Anna. She has an interesting and challenging job. She has a dream to be a doctor one day. What more could I want?

Mothers tend to wonder, did I do enough? Where could I have done more? I can find many ways for improvement in me, but what I see in my two daughters is that they are my shiny jewels.

And we are STILL waiting, and Sara said, "so I did not get my present." She wanted Anna to be listed for her birthday. Anna responded, "I did not want it to be on our birthdays, it should be on its own day." So, now that the birthdays are past, perhaps we will finally hear, today? Or do we have to wait until next week? OMG, I do not like this waiting thing.............

Note: we did talk with the transplant program today. They confirmed, we are all still waiting, someone has the paperwork on their desk, somewhere......a phone call needs to be made soon to give final approval........insurance bureaucracy...........I am sure you all have heard of this beast.