He Has The Vibe

Day 59, awaiting the call for Anna's double lung transplant.

I thought today would have been my last physical therapy appointment for my knee. As it turned out we decided to go two more weeks. Having the appointments helps me to stay on track doing my exercises. My knee is so much better but has not yet recovered with all of the strength that it needs. And of course having this to think about has helped me with the other situation, the waiting.

Today was also a pre-transplant appointment at Stanford. When we arrived we saw old friends from our CF community. So good to see them after so many years but one of them was there as he was being evaluated for transplant. We hope that he is on the list soon.

We were told at the outset that one of the transplant physicians as not able to be at the clinic as he was ill. This made an especially long visit with a lot of waiting, but we are used to that experience. Even so, we want to express our approval! We were so glad to see sanity as opposed to the inconsideration of what we had heard recently on the radio about health care workers going to work no matter if they are sick or not. Yay, our center is thinking of its patients. That makes waiting in the waiting room so much more OK as this was so much better than seeing a "sick" doctor.

Recently Anna requested to meet the surgical team or at least a representative at her next visit. She was promised that one of the surgeons would meet her at the clinic today. Among the many providers, nurses, therapists, researchers, etc that she saw there was also a surgeon and his fellow to see Anna too. A very good discussion was engaged about the surgery, what happens, how long it takes and what happens if something goes wrong. Anna was able to ask all the questions she wanted. The regular questions opened up to the wild fantasy questions of, what if,and these are my greatest fears questions.

Anna first asked if there was an earthquake, what would happen? Answer: unless it is over 8.5 or 9 then all would be fine. Question 2: If there was a "shooter with a gun" who shot the surgeon what would happen? (I am not kidding) Answer: She was told that in that case the shooter probably would have to be someone who is a family member like, her mom, (he looked over at me with a questioning eye) so it most likely would not happen. Question 3: What if the lungs are out and the new lungs didn't arrive because of an accident? Answer: This has happened and was highly publicized a few years ago in Michigan. The lung recipient stayed alive on the heart-lung machine with another set of new lungs arriving a few days later to save the patient's life. Anna was relieved. These have been questions swirling in her mind. She thought each of these seemingly unlikely situations could cause her to not survive the surgery, that she would die right away, but no, that is most likely not so, very relieving. Isn't it incredible, you can have your lungs removed and live for about 1 week on the bi-pass machine. Amazing.

Then toward the end of this conversation we were startled. The surgeon revealed that today they denied an offer of lungs made for Anna. They turned them down because they were not good enough. It took our breath away. There is a blank space of memory after that news entered our minds. We could not hear anything else that he had to say for a while until we got our nerves restored. Anna could have been called today. We would never have known this if she had not gone to clinic. It was amazing that he revealed this info. Wow, that made it so real. It also gave us restored hope. Waiting is very hard and you do not know how long it can be. Now we really know it can be so soon and just as we are simply going about our day. There is such an unreal part to living this drama. Today this information made it more real.

During the clinic visit another new team member introduced himself. During the conversation he said that he heard that Anna was a "peach". How nice. She is considered a "peach". I agree.

Next we saw Dr. Weil. Yes, he confirmed, there has been a lack of donor organs this summer across the country. He said that it seems to be changing now. He admitted the near call for Anna today and that her name has been discussed. He looked directly at Anna and said, "Be ready." He believes it can happen soon, October sounds likely to him. But, how can he know? The thing is that this physician feels vibes too. He is feeling the vibe. More organs are starting to be donated and the climate is changing. Let's hope so.

The realm that everyone really wants to go to and share about is the vibe realm. It is more fun there. Talking stats is interesting to a point but, when you are feeling the vibe, it is tantalizing, When your smart doctor goes there it makes you perk up and listen. He must know, this is his work. I guess, I hope. He is feeling the vibe........... the moon is full............