Dad, Thirteen Years Ago

Day number 111 still waiting for those perfect lungs.......

Sunday, what a beautiful day today. I am still recovering from the dry run we experienced. Resting, enjoying the couch, a little walk in the vineyard, magazines.........

Yesterday was November 13. That was the day my father died thirteen years ago. Again it is those numbers, 11-13, 13 years ago. I thought about Dad a lot this weekend. For lunch Doug and I had a salad, baguette, cheese and salami. It made me think of Dad. When we lived on Lindenbrook in Woodside the horses lived with us. In the summer, on the weekend, Dad and I would work around the barn, go for a ride and spend some time together. I remember some of those hot summer days when it was lunch time. Dad and I would go to the kitchen and slice up the sour dough with chunks of jack cheese and salami. He loved that lunch.

Bill Dougherty was a very special man and a great father. Dad grew up on a farm in Oklahoma. There were 6 children in all and numerous cousins in the area. Dad told me of when he would go to visit some of his cousins. One household had 12 children. At night time they would take out their bed rolls and sleep where ever they could find an open space. But, he told me that family of 12 all grew up to be doctors, teachers, nurses, all successful and educated. They met huge challenges living in the Depression in the dust bowl. Wow, a different existence.

Two of my father's siblings died of typhoid. Bart and Dolan died very quickly and it was devastating to his mother. Bill was the eldest and survived this scourge. Later Don, Beth and Max were born. Dad went to college and graduated with a teaching credential. It was World War II and even though he had never seen the ocean before, Dad joined the Navy. While stationed in San Francisco Bill met Elayne, it was a fast and deep love. They were married within three months and they both left to be stationed on the east coast until he was sent to the South Pacific.

Bill, Don, Beth and Max Dougherty

Bill was so fortunate to survive the battles in the fight against Japan. He saw a lot of suffering and experienced the horrors of war. These things he never forgot and he became an advocate for peace in the world. Dad was interested in politics with Mom. They were very much against the Vietnam War and we marched as a family in peace marches through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco. Later, Dad was able to spend time as an artist. His sculptures still grace the homes of his children. I have a few pieces that are my special treasures.

It is important to honor these anniversaries where we loose someone. His spirit left because his body was dying of lung cancer. Dad lived a very honorable death. When it was time he slipped away quietly without anyone near. That is the way he would want it. He was a private man and he never wanted to cause us any sorrow, especially his wife. He was in the hospital and that night Mom felt that she had to go back again to see him and tuck him in. When she entered the room he said, "What are you doing here, Elayne? You should be home." She spent a little time with him, kissed him and went home. Just a few hours later without warning he put his head on his arm leaning over the side of the bed on the side table and slipped away. Mom must have known it was time.

I am so grateful to have had such a wonderful dad who loved me so much, and listened to my girlhood demands for a horse. I was obsessed by horses and having one. Dad made sure my dream came true. The years I spent with Missy, and later, my filly Nemara were amazing and a gift from Dad that made such a difference in my life. Here's to you Dad. I miss you, especially your 6'2" warm hugs, wise words, great friendship and loving smile.

As I am writing this our neighborhood is commemorating a neighbor who died shortly after moving here with his family. This lovely neighborhood we now live in met outside to dedicate a plaque in is honor so that no one would forget him. He was a father and husband. His wife and children were there. He left too soon for them.......... so wonderful to live in a caring neighborhood such as this.