Touch

Crows Touch The Gray Sky Of Winter

Meanwhile.........

When you are touched by someone you are healed in a very curious way. Touch, touched by a story, touched by a hand, in some way we need touch. It is why we are curious about others and their lives. We do not even know how much we need touch. Our soul seeks it. We need connection through friendship and the intimacy of sharing our humanness. When we are touched by listening through reading or hearing or seeing something real and unveiled by another, we find ourselves. We find those hard to reach places that want to be touched within ourselves by ourselves. Sometimes it is only by mirroring and revealing one to another that those lonely doors in the outbacks of our hearts and minds can be opened.

Touch is also a craft and an art. Touch is what is in the art you look at and go Hmmmmmm. Touch is what is in the human story that you follow and can not stop following. Touch is also in the fingers of someone who gives massage. Thank goodness for those that are talented in the art of massage. Massage and touch to my body deep in the muscles has always been important. Dad and I used to give each other massages. He loved a deep and strong hand digging deep into those strong shoulder muscles of his. I always loved it too. Sprawled on the living room floor we would rub each others back sometimes using those fun implements made of wood and stone to dig deeper into the muscles that held and held and held what needed to be let go of from the day or days or weeks past.

It seems that is what we do, we hold on. We hold on for dear life. This life is so many times like a roller coaster ride. Up , up, up and then when you least expect, swoosh down, hold on, hold on, it is wild. You may not make it there unless your grip is tight, the knuckles white and bones in a grip. The result, you got there and you got there because you think that that holding on prevented you from sailing out of the chair through the air and thump on the ground. Was it the holding that prevented the thump or was it that you would have gotten there any way if you hadn't held so tight? Oh, it must have been our mastery of the holding on. We must have some control and way we stay a float in all of this craziness. Or is it?

Yes, bless those that give massage, deep and loving touch, that helps us find the places we are holding and just won't let go, so that for that hour we can open those tight knuckles and bring color back to their white ghostliness of tight hold. It takes so much energy to keep holding onto the grip and yet it is a gentle reminder of soft music, warm oil and kind hands that helps us relax and renew. Those that know how to offer this type of healing through the touch of the fingers and hands give also of their hearts.

Every time I have a massage I tell myself, "if you can have a massage every week, you would be a changed person." That may be so, but have I ever given myself that luxurious opportunity to indulge in such a rich gift to my body and soul? No, and why not? That is the mystery to all of this isn't it? We need touch, and we find it through our ways of connecting but we never find enough. We keep needing more and more. This seems so human, so common. But yesterday, I did give myself the gift of massage.

Doug and I have found an oasis of healing and comfort that has helped us so much during these storms of the past year. We have found a wonderful healer that offers us such compassion and caring when we enter her healing room. It has helped both of us touch ourselves, let go of the white knuckles, find the breath that releases the holding, feel the warmth of the heated blankets that softens the tight tummy, and totally release, at least for a short time. To lay on her table with the soft blankets covering our vulnerable selves we touch down softly and land where we can trust another to sensitively touch our bodies. Giving ourselves this gift of allowing touch and the movement of her fingers on our backs, arms and legs tells us we appreciate our work, our hard work, our commitment to getting done in life what needs to be done. There is such a satisfying feeling to being so tired from your life that you are spent, totally spent, you have given your all and then angelic music, fragrant smells of flowers, warm oil and firm and gentle fingers find those places where your work is still in your body and invites you to let it go.

That hour of touch is so amazing when you have found a masseuse who you want to be your friend and is talented, loving, caring and full of heart. Thank you, thank you Pam.