Tendrils

It happened yesterday. We were clear. The time has come. We are done with this phase. Sitting together with "nothing to do" Anna and I recognized the signs we were looking for. I wanted there to be enough cushion of time to find them. I wanted us to find them together so that it was mutual.

Anna currently has a small cold in her nose but she is handling it. She immediately had a swab to check for any bad viruses. There are none. This is just a little cold in her nose. I must note this is a very unusual event for her. No cold that I have ever remembered was "little". All colds went directly to her lungs for a protracted CF event. And, I mean all, since the beginning of time. Without CF lungs being vulnerable to the whims of viruses she is handling this one like a normie. It is a sign, a sign that this is working.

Other signs are the obvious such as, she is driving, she is cooking, she is getting on with it. What is left are the tendrils of holding on to each other. This is why we needed this cushion. We have held on to each other so tightly so lovingly, with such respect and care through this year that finding those tenacious binds and releasing them is difficult. Our desire for our own lives and discovering who we are now is our push. Excitement about how to live a "normal" life (albeit as a transplant patient now) is an inspiration. But, the love, the friendship, the companionship we have had with each other to have made it this far through so much pain, fear and just plain "Hell" is so sweet and sticky like glue. Time has come to dilute the glue and separate into our lives. We will find a new normal for our visits and time together as mother and daughter and as a family.

Many people have commented to me that they have enjoyed reading the story that I have told in this blog. I am so grateful for all of the positive comments and compliments to me. I am so grateful to have been able to write about this extraordinary experience and to have a way to so freely share it with others. Modern day technology is quite astounding. The phenomenon of blogging about ones life and sharing with others is an amazing opportunity. I believe that it must be most valuable to the people out there who are suffering from some difficult fate and need community and information. It is very lonely to live with life threatening diseases and situations without knowledge and community. It is an incredible world that is so open today.

I will complete this blog next week. I hope to gather my thoughts and reflections as I finish emptying the apartment and handing in the keys. That will be a monumental day of liberation for all of us. May our dear Anna be blessed with good luck in this journey. May she be blessed with good health, good medical care and opportunities to fulfill her life's dreams. May all who have been there with us also be blessed with goodness.........